The first time I remember being shocked by my father
I went out on the back porch of my childhood home. It was summertime and I don’t think I was more than three years old. I walked out of the back door and saw my dad sitting outside in a chair and he was busy doing something.
He was busy scraping the dead skin off of his feet with a……..wait for it, a butcher knife!! It was breezy outside, and I could see those revolting flakes of dry skin floating away, out into the back yard like a cloud of Rice Krispies! Even at my young age, I instinctively knew that using a butcher knife for a Pedicure was wrong. I couldn’t look away. I remember freezing in place, but I couldn’t take my gaze away from the floating foot flakes. Yuck! As an adult, I still think that habit is potentially dangerous and disturbing, yet funny in a nervous, not supposed to laugh kind of way.
One of first times I remember shocking my mother
Right around the time my sister and I were in middle school, my dad used to bring my sister and I these dolls with fancy clothes and frilly hats. These dolls had long dresses, and underneath the dresses, these dolls had no legs. The doll bodies were perched on a long plastic post with a flat circular base, so they could stand up on their own. These dolls also had another attribute that my sister and I discovered, they had movable arms and fingers.
One day, after our mother got home from a busy day at work. She got out of the car and was walking down the front walkway. She looked up as she was reaching the steps to our front door. In the front windows of our house, she saw all these dolls perched daintily on the sills. Then she noticed that all the dolls had their arms raised and were giving the finger with each hand. My sister and I were looking out the window at our mom, JUST to see the look of shock on her face. It didn’t occur to us that the neighbors might see these dolls too. I think we were snort laughing. My mom eventually got the joke and laughed despite herself. My sister and I loved the shock value, and put those dolls in the windows on future days, until the joke lost its sparkle.
Magnetic Elvis dress up
Talking Peanut doll (Jeff Dunham)